Overcoming Conflict in Marriage: A Guide to Better Communication and Understanding, with Stephanie Wijkstrom
Overcoming Conflict in Marriage: A Guide to Better Communication and Understanding
Imagine this: you and your spouse are arguing over something trivial, like whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. Before you know it, the conversation spirals into a debate about who’s been pulling their weight around the house. Sound familiar? These moments can feel frustrating, but they’re also opportunities to strengthen your bond—if you know how to approach them. Relationships don’t need grand gestures or complicated strategies to thrive; sometimes, it’s the simple shifts in perspective and behavior that make all the difference.
In today’s blog, I’ll share insights from Stephanie Wijkstrom, a licensed counselor and founder of the Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh. With her expertise in mental health and relationship wellness, Stephanie offers practical advice on how to improve communication, resolve conflict, and build deeper connections with your loved ones. Let’s explore how small changes can take your relationships—and your family life—to the next level.
The Power of Relationships
At the heart of fulfillment lies our relationships. Whether it’s with a partner, child, or close friend, these connections are what truly sustain us. Stephanie Wijkstrom shared a profound insight during the podcast:
"Some healing happens whenever two people come together with the vision for growth."
Relationships aren’t just about companionship—they’re opportunities for mutual support and personal development.
But let’s be honest: relationships can be messy. Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. Stephanie emphasizes that understanding your conflict resolution style is crucial in navigating disagreements effectively. Are you someone who avoids conflict or confronts it head-on? Recognizing these tendencies can help you approach challenges more constructively.
Mastering Conflict Resolution
No one likes conflict—it’s uncomfortable and often emotionally draining. But learning how to resolve disagreements effectively is one of the most transformative skills you can develop for your relationships. Stephanie suggests starting with emotional regulation before addressing an issue. This might mean stepping away for 20 minutes—or even 24 hours—to cool down before having a thoughtful conversation.
During this time, focus on emotional hygiene through calming activities like yoga, meditation, or even coloring with your kids. Once you’re ready to talk, prioritize validation—acknowledging your partner’s feelings without rushing to offer solutions. As Stephanie explains,
"Validation is when we acknowledge what makes sense about someone else's reality."
This small yet impactful act builds trust and opens the door for healthier communication.
Mental Health as a Family Priority
Mental health isn’t just an individual journey—it’s something that affects the entire family unit. As parents, we set the tone for emotional wellness in our homes. One way to do this is by modeling self-care. Stephanie practices daily fitness routines, hikes with her children, and meaningful time outdoors—activities that nurture both physical and emotional health.
Lalah Delia once said,
"Self-care is how you take your power back."
By prioritizing our own well-being, we teach our children that taking care of themselves is not only acceptable but essential.
Simple Ways to Strengthen Family Bonds
Building a fulfilling family life doesn’t require dramatic changes—it’s about small actions done consistently over time. Here are some ideas inspired by Stephanie’s advice:
Family Rituals: Establish weekly traditions like Sunday dinners or game nights that everyone looks forward to.
Open Communication: Create safe spaces where each family member feels heard without judgment.
Quality Time: Even 15 minutes of undivided attention can make a big impact on your relationships.
Shared Activities: Find hobbies everyone enjoys—whether it’s hiking, cooking together, or playing board games.
As Maya Angelou wisely said, “I sustain myself with the love of family.” These moments of connection strengthen the bonds that carry us through life’s challenges.
Facing Challenges as a Team
Every family encounters challenges—whether managing stress or addressing mental health concerns like OCD (which Stephanie experienced as a child). Modern treatments such as Exposure Response Therapy (ERP) offer effective tools for managing symptoms. Stephanie also highlighted emerging treatments like Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), which show promise for conditions like OCD and depression.
But beyond professional help, families play an essential role in providing support and understanding during difficult times. Fred Rogers captured this beautifully: “There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”
Self-Awareness: A Key to Fulfillment
Self-awareness is another cornerstone of personal and family wellness. Stephanie pointed out that many people struggle to see themselves clearly—often underestimating their strengths or misjudging their weaknesses. Therapy or honest conversations with loved ones can provide valuable insights into how we show up in our relationships.
For example, if you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own, it might be time to reassess your boundaries.
Diane Von Furstenberg once said,
"The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself."
Strengthening this relationship allows us to show up more authentically for others.
Wellness Is Holistic
Wellness isn’t just about mental health—it’s about creating harmony between mind, body, and spirit. Stephanie incorporates yoga and mindfulness into her routine to maintain balance in her busy life. Whether through physical activity or creative outlets like painting or journaling, finding what nourishes you is essential.
Tom Rath captures this idea perfectly: “Wellbeing is about the combination of our love for what we do each day, the quality of our relationships...and the vibrancy of our physical health.” By focusing on these interconnected elements, we can create a more fulfilling life for ourselves and our families.
Closing Thoughts: Simple Changes Can Transform Your Relationships
Let me leave you with this thought: relationships don’t thrive on perfection—they thrive on connection. The next time you find yourself arguing over something silly (like who left the cap off the toothpaste), take a step back and remember that small changes—like validating each other’s feelings or giving yourselves space—can make all the difference.
Stephanie shared an insight that resonated deeply:
"Balance is hard for me... I'm always wiggling around in my balancing poses."
Her words remind us that fulfillment isn’t about getting everything right—it’s about showing up with intention and love.
So today, take one small step toward improving your relationships—whether it’s carving out time for a meaningful conversation or simply appreciating your partner’s quirks instead of critiquing them. As John Wooden said so simply yet profoundly: “The most important thing in the world is family and love.” Let this truth guide you as you create a home filled with connection, wellness, and joy.
Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for reading and listening and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!
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