Balancing Family, Career, and Self: What If the Real Secret Isn’t Time Management? with Tiffany Saunder
Living Your Best Life on Imperfect Terms: The Real Path to Family Fulfillment
By Kendra Nielson
Have you ever woken up, stared at the ceiling, and wondered, “How did I get so far from the life I pictured?” Maybe you envisioned fulfillment looking like laughter-filled family dinners and a peaceful home, but instead, your days feel packed to the brim—overrun with school drop-offs, late work emails, nagging stress, and a gnawing sense you’re missing something important. If that sounds a little too familiar, pause for a moment: this blog is for you. In today’s world, “life balance” can feel more like a punchline than an achievable goal. But there’s a different way to create purpose, peace, and fulfillment in real family life—even when it looks messier than anyone admits.
Why Traditional Balance Doesn’t Work—And What Parents Really Want
We’re sold the idea that balance means equal time for everything—the perfect slice for work, kids, romance, and self-care. But as Tiffany Souder shared in our recent Fulfillment Therapy podcast episode, that myth simply doesn’t fit the reality of parenting.
"There's maybe two days a year that go exactly the way that you planned...a function og living a big, full like if that you're going to be interrupted and it isn't going to go perfectly."
Tiffany’s story echoes what so many parents experience: the harder we strive to “do it all,” the emptier we can feel. Building businesses, shuttling kids between school and activities, keeping up with expectations—we end up stuck on autopilot, running from one task to the next. The true answer, she found, wasn’t about squeezing in more to-do’s—it was redefining fulfillment so that it matched her own values and season of life.
The “Life of And”: Creating Personal, Family, and Career Space
Instead of chasing someone else’s standards, Tiffany encourages families to architect a “life of and”—one that includes space for personal passions, strong family bonds, and meaningful work, each “right-sized” for your current reality. Think about your own Venn diagram: Where do your family, personal life, and vocation overlap? That intersection, she says, is where genuine fulfillment lives. “All of life fits in these three buckets: ourselves—our personal and spiritual life, our family, and our vocation... When those three circles work in concert, with clearly defined priorities, you’re living a sustainable and meaningful life”.
Family Roles: Clarity Beats Resentment
One of the most powerful takeaways from our conversation was how Tiffany brought business wisdom—explicit roles, regular planning, and systemization—into her family. In many families, parents unconsciously operate on assumptions: “I thought you were handling that!” Sound familiar? That’s why she recommends a quick but honest conversation about who “wears the hat” of CEO (setting vision and values), COO (scheduling and organization), and CFO (financial decision-making). When roles are left vague, frustration festers:
"When we created explicit agreements around who is leading these initiatives in our family, it took the tension away. I wasn't pissed anymore. I do like being the COO. I like being in charge. I like knowing where everybody and everything is."
Ask yourself: Does everyone actually know who’s handling what at home? Could a simple check-in restore teamwork and lighten the mental load?
Morning Wind-Up and Evening Wind-Down: The Systems of Simplicity
Too many homes start and end the day reacting to the leftovers of chaos. For Tiffany (and for many parents she’s worked with), creating structured routines brought calm: a quick 10-minute nightly “wind-down” to reset the kitchen and living area, followed by a brief “morning wind-up” to send kids off feeling seen and prepared.
"It took a couple of minutes to describe, but happens automatically now in our home. It srated with sharing my own observations with the family and putting a checklist on the fridge."
These rituals aren’t magic, but they are transformative. When there’s a system, everyone knows where to help, and the day begins with clarity instead of overwhelm. Even young kids grow in executive function, anticipating their needs and learning to plan ahead.
The Power of Family Meetings
Many of us yearn for more “connection” but don’t create space for it. Tiffany’s family uses a weekly meeting centered on three things: connection, calendar, and issue-solving. Sunday evenings become a time for a fun question or game, a planning rundown for each day of the upcoming week, and an opportunity to surface any brewing challenges before they erupt. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about facing life together, proactively rather than reactively. As she puts it,
"This process taught my girls how to look forward and see what they'll need. If they've given it to me in advance, I'll do my best to make it happen., Last-minute emergencies? That's a gamble!"
Value-Led Decision-Making: The Not-Now List
Parental guilt loves to whisper that if we only hustled harder, we’d finally achieve balance. Tiffany wisely points out that every “yes” inevitably requires a “not now.” She relates picking priorities to business operations: “Whenever something happens all the time, we put a system in place... It happens efficiently and isn’t a big brouhaha.” Translated to family life: Protect your bandwidth for what matters now, and actively defer activities, requests, or even dreams that would stretch you too thin.
This is where most parents falter—comparing themselves to others, ignoring the real context (number of kids, age, work obligations, resources) and beating themselves up for not editing life accordingly. Give yourself—truly—permission to wait. As Viktor Frankl said,
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
You’re allowed to move some hopes to the “later” or even “never” list, so space opens for what matters most today.
Coping When Your Options Aren’t Pretty
There will be seasons—new babies, job transitions, illness—where choices feel bleak. Tiffany’s approach? Refuse to act the victim: “When people feel like they’re in a prison, it’s that they don’t like their options. Sometimes in life, you don’t like your choices, but you are picking one by staying where you are. Just be really clear about what you’re picking.”
Her own path through business hardship meant facing hard facts, grieving limits, and holding out for a longer-term win. But the core message is empowering: you’re not as stuck as you feel. “My choices got me here, and my choices can move me somewhere better.”
As Brene Brown famously says,
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."
Parents, loving and protecting your energy is a vital act that benefits your whole family.
Tiny Course Corrections: Why Progress Is Far Superior to Perfection
If you’re waiting for the “right” time to overhaul family routines, set boundaries, or chase personal fulfillment, you’ll miss out on daily progress. Start with what’s possible: one new family ritual, a clarified role, a single “not now” item that frees even 30 minutes of your week. Fulfillment isn’t a finish line; it’s a willingness to keep adjusting, to want better, and to stay curious about what your family truly needs next.
If your kids are little, your “life of and” may look like sleep and survival. Teens? Your adventure may be about creating connection and space for independence. The key is not comparing, but naming your genuine values—then letting them guide you.
Professional Guidance Isn’t Failure—It’s Wisdom
If the tension or overwhelm feels like more than you can handle, reaching out for support is one of the bravest steps you can take. Honest conversations—whether in a therapy office, at Fulfillment Therapy, or with trusted mentors—help you calibrate, gain perspective, and discover blind spots or options you couldn’t see alone.
"To build a 'life of and,' you have to furst believe a life relatively free of chaos is possible. We build what we believe."
As Maya Angelou reminds us,
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Fulfillment isn’t about perfecting your circumstances—it’s about orienting yourself, over and over, to meaning, honesty, and growth.
Bringing It Full Circle: Your Life, On Your Terms
Remember that vision at the start—the one where everyone at home feels more connected, less frazzled, and way more authentic? That isn’t reserved for “other” families, nor does it require superhuman effort. Instead, it’s a product of small, intentional experiments: naming your roles, creating simple routines, holding weekly meetings, and granting yourself permission to do less in order to feel more whole.
If your ideal family or personal life isn’t possible right now, what version is possible today? What can you say “not now” to—and what rituals or honest talks would help you and your loved ones feel seen and supported?
Sometimes the best life emerges not when everything is under control, but when we accept what’s real and devote ourselves wholeheartedly to making it meaningful. As the wise Anne Lamott says,
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes...including you."
To every parent reading: You don’t have to be superhuman to foster a home brimming with warmth, laughter, and well-earned satisfaction. You only need to be honest, resourceful, and a little more compassionate with yourself. The life you want is truly built in small, courageous steps—right here, right now.
This article is written by Kendra Nielson for Fulfillment Therapy—where real parents find real community and powerful tools to transform exhaustion into connection and meaning.
For more resources, listen in at Fulfillment Therapy, join our FB/Instagram communities, or reach out. Let’s keep moving, together, toward the peace and purpose your unique family deserves.
hello@fulfillmenttherapy.org or visit fulfillmenttherapy.org.
This is your space to heal and flourish.
With Love,
Kendra
Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for reading and listening, and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!
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