The Sacred Pause: A Parenting Tool That Changes Everything, with Rachel O'Connor
Life can feel like a constant balancing act, especially as a parent. Between work, family responsibilities, and personal goals, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters—living a life that feels fulfilling and aligned with your values. If you’ve ever felt stuck or wondered how to create deeper connections with yourself and your family, you’re not alone.
On a recent episode of the Fulfillment Therapy podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachel O'Connor, a life and wellness coach who specializes in helping women break free from limiting beliefs and align their lives with their true purpose. Her insights were so impactful that I couldn’t wait to share them with you.
This isn’t about perfection or following someone else’s roadmap—it’s about finding what works for you and your family. So grab a cup of coffee (or tea!) and let’s explore how small shifts in mindset, habits, and self-compassion can lead to big changes in fulfillment and mental wellness.
Awareness: The Foundation for Change
Rachel began by emphasizing the importance of awareness in creating lasting change. She shared a powerful quote from yoga teacher Ashley Sargent:
"Consciousness is healing."
This idea resonated deeply with me because it highlights something we often overlook—the need to truly understand what’s happening within us before we can transform it.
Think about it: how often do we react to situations on autopilot? Whether it’s snapping at your kids after a stressful day or feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list, these moments are often driven by unconscious patterns. Rachel introduced the concept of the “sacred pause,” which involves taking a moment to stop, breathe, and reflect before responding. This simple practice can help you shift from reacting out of habit to responding with intention—a game-changer for both personal growth and family dynamics.
Finding Your “Why”
One of the most transformative parts of our conversation was Rachel’s focus on discovering your “why.” She explained that lasting change often comes when we connect our actions to our deeper motivations and values. For example, one of her clients had been dieting for decades but only began to see real progress when she shifted her focus from weight loss to enjoying activities like hiking with her husband.
As parents, identifying your “why” can bring clarity and purpose to your actions. Why do you want to spend more quality time with your family?
"Why do you want to prioritize self-care?"
When you understand your motivations, it becomes easier to stay committed—even when challenges arise.
Rachel shared her own journey of discovering her “why” through a project she called “Project 100 Love,” where she interviewed 100 people who loved what they did for a living. This project not only helped her uncover her passions but also inspired her transition into coaching—a career that aligns perfectly with her values of connection and empowerment.
Self-Compassion: The Secret Ingredient
If there’s one thing Rachel emphasized repeatedly, it’s the importance of self-compassion. She explained how many of us are incredibly hard on ourselves—often without realizing it—and how this inner critic can hold us back from achieving our goals.
Rachel shared an example of a client who struggled with daily routines but found freedom in embracing her free-spirited nature rather than forcing rigid habits upon herself. By practicing self-compassion, this client was able to create routines that felt authentic and sustainable for her lifestyle.
As Glenn Close wisely said, “
"What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation."
Practicing self-compassion isn’t about lowering your standards; it’s about recognizing that growth comes from kindness—not criticism.
Aligning Habits with Values
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was Rachel’s approach to building habits that align with your values rather than societal expectations or “shoulds.” She encouraged listeners to reflect on activities they enjoyed as children—things that brought them joy before life became complicated by responsibilities and expectations.
For Rachel, this meant rediscovering her love for swimming. During the pandemic, she began swimming in San Francisco Bay every morning—a practice that connects her with nature while promoting physical and mental wellness. For families, this might mean creating traditions like cooking dinner together or taking evening walks—simple rituals that strengthen bonds while fostering mental health.
Rachel also shared an inspiring story about a client who rediscovered creativity through dancing for just 15 minutes a day—a small yet powerful habit that unlocked other areas of fulfillment in her life. The takeaway? Start small, stay consistent, and make it personal.
Family as the Anchor for Wellness
Rachel reminded us that family plays an integral role in our mental health journey. As Michael J. Fox once said,
"Family is not an important thing; it's everything."
Healthy families thrive on trust, communication, and mutual respect—all qualities that require intentional effort to cultivate.
She encouraged parents to listen actively to their children and create spaces where everyone feels safe expressing themselves. Whether it’s resolving conflicts with kindness or simply expressing gratitude for one another, these practices build emotional safety within the family unit.
Rachel’s Personal Practice: Journaling for Self-Love
One practice Rachel swears by is daily journaling—a ritual she began after turning 56 as a way to deepen her self-compassion and awareness. Each morning, she writes phrases like “I hear you” or “I love you” to herself—a simple act that has transformed her mindset over time.
As parents navigating busy lives, journaling can be an incredibly powerful tool for reflection and growth. Even five minutes a day can help you reconnect with yourself and celebrate small victories.
Actionable Steps for Parents Seeking Fulfillment
Here are some practical tips inspired by Rachel’s insights:
Practice the sacred pause: Take a moment before reacting in stressful situations.
Identify your “why”: Reflect on what truly motivates you as a parent.
Cultivate self-compassion: Replace self-criticism with kindness toward yourself.
Align habits with values: Choose activities that resonate deeply with you.
Create family rituals: Build small traditions that foster connection.
Try journaling: Use writing as a tool for self-reflection and growth.
Conclusion: Small Shifts Lead to Big Changes
Creating personal and family fulfillment is about embracing authenticity and making small shifts that align with your values. As Laozi once said, “Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.” When we prioritize mental wellness within ourselves and our families, we open the door to lasting happiness.
Living your best life starts at home—with intentional choices that reflect who you are and what matters most to you. Whether it’s pausing before reacting or rediscovering activities that bring joy into your life, these small steps can lead to profound changes over time.
So take a deep breath, reflect on what fulfillment means for you and your family, and start taking those small steps today—you’ve got this!
Join us on Fulfillment Therapy, where you'll find healing, wellness, and the tools needed to live a life you can't wait to wake up to. Together, we can create positive ripples of change and help others ignite their lives with lasting joy and fulfillment.
Thanks for reading and listening and shine boldly and brightly, my friends!
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